Better Drivers

We spent the bulk of our "Black Friday" off the road. But, after spending just a few days in our ol' home town, we've noticed something.

We're better drivers than we used to be.

When we lived here, we each had a zippy sedan that we used mostly during commute hours. We changed lanes at a whim, raced up to stop signs, and foolishly tried to squeeze between bumpers to get on the highway.

Then, we moved to California.

There, driving in traffic became about survival of the fittest. We weren't defensive. We became aggressive. Whatever it would take to get around the other idiots on the road, we'd do it.

Then, we bought a motorhome.

There, in the beehive of insanity on the freeway, we learned how much longer it takes to accelerate - and stop - an 11-ton vehicle. Entrance ramps became something we planned for. Stop signs became something we rolled up to. Speed limit signs became something that we not only noticed but also obeyed. We gave truckers a wide berth, and were surprised to see that they - and only they - did the same. We learned that it can sometimes - actually, most times - takes two to drive this thing. One of us does the steering and braking. The other one is the Safety Director.

Early in our pre-fulltiming research we ran across a fulltiming couple that professed to one simple rule: The person in the passenger seat is the Safety Director. And, the Safety Director rules.

Before we ever hit the road, we talked about this idea. As two uber-skilled freeway sedan survivalists, it took a little getting used to. After all, we both knew how to drive. Heck, we'd survived rush hour on California freeways for nearly 10 years. We didn't need no Safety Director.

Then, in a flash of clarity, we adopted the process. The rule would be simple. Whoever was driving would do so as defensively as possible. After all, this is our house we're driving here, not a Miata. The driver's mission was to get ourselves, our cats and our possessions from point A to point B safely and in one piece. Nothing more. We'd leave real time on the road driving instructions to someone else. Aggressions would be worked out somewhere else. We would trust no one else on the road, except maybe the truckers. Defensive driving and safety were top priority, with the help of the Safety Director.

The Safety Director is whoever (or is that whomever?) is in the passenger seat. The Safety Director keeps both eyes open for all kinds of hazards, from low hanging branches to clueless cars merging on to the freeway with no clue that a 22,000 pound vehicle is right beside them. The Safety Director is also the navigator extraordinaire, checking the atlas and the iphone for real time traffic and adjusting the route as necessary. The Safety Director anticipates and announces necessary lane changes. The Safety Director is all about information. Opinion and advice and nagging are saved for another day.

This Driver and Safety Director arrangement has worked very well for us so far. When I'm the Driver, I listen to whatever the Safety Director says and do whatever he asks me to do. If I need to move a little to the left, I do. No questions asked. After all, he's not telling me how to drive. He's being the Safety Director. Likewise, when Paul is behind the wheel, and I'm Safety Director, I keep my comments to a minimum. My directions are clear and concise. And, he does whatever I say. We don't nag at each other. We're both playing important roles in the safety of our household.

Had we had this kind of dialogue with each other while we were maneuvering one of our sedans through rush hour freeway traffic, we might have driven each other nuts. But, when driving 50 feet of vehicles, there's something very comforting in hearing your Safety Director remind you that your lane ends in 1,000 feet, even if you already know it. And, it's soothing to be able to say from behind the wheel, "Is this our exit?" and have a calm, reassuring voice tell you "Yes, it is."

When you're driving your home down the highway, our recommendation is not to do so as husband and wife, or a couple of travel buddies. When you roll down the road as Driver and Safety Director chances are you'll arrive safely, in one piece, and your relationship still intact.